Joseph Weisenthal

25 Things Every Man Should Be Able To Do

Sat, 24 Jul 2010 19:22:00 -0400

I really, really hate “50 things a man should be able to do” lists, and the latest one I’ve seen, which was posted at First Things is no exception.

Part of it, I admit, is that I can’t do any of these things. Well, I can do like 5. So either I’m totally inadequate as a man (possible) or the list is pointless.

It’s also annoying, because you figure that people who make these lists construct them in such a way that they can do all 50. Magic! Even on the First Things list, the author notes upfront that he did not include “know how to tie a bowtie,” which I’m guessing means he doesn’t know how to tie a bowtie.

Of course, I have my own ideas about what every man should be able to do. Of course I do. But I couldn’t think of 50 because really, no man in the world needs to know how to do 50 effin’ things! Not in this day of hyperspecialization, at least. To be honest, the average man probably needs to know how to do 3 or 4 things (tops!), but that’d be a pretty boring list.

So here’s 25 things, and I think it’s defensible as any other list out there. Seriously.

Know a few words in French, Spanish, and German, and know how to lightly sprinkle them into your speaking writing in a way that’s interesting, but not pretentious.
Know the Latin name for at least a few common fallacies (E.G: The post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacy)
Know how to play the chords C Major, F Major, F Minor, and G Major on the guitar or piano.
Be able to figure out how to play any song using said four chords (seriously, it’s possible in like 99% of all songs).
Be able to quickly learn any basic online publishing CMS.
Know at least 5 moves of theory in a few basic chess openings (The Ruy Lopez, The Sicilian [Dragon and Najdorf variations], and the Queens gambit [declined and accepted!])
Once the opening is done, know some VERY basic chess theory (trade off your bishops in closed games, your knights in open games, dominate the center, don’t let your opponent have a passed pawn, protect your king, and get your rooks onto open files).
Know how to multiply any 2-digit number by 11.
Instantly be able to say whether a number is a multiple of 3.
Instantly be able to say whether a number is a multiple of 9.
Be able to count to 700 by 7s in no more than twice the time it would take you to count to 100 by 1s.
Know how to tie a tie using a YouTube instructional video.
Have at least one poem memorized, even if it’s just the old classic “Carnation milk is the best in the land; Here I sit with a can in my hand. No tits to pull, no hay to pitch, You just punch a hole in the son of a bitch.”
Be able to come up with — regardless of the economy — a plausible scenario for a recession in the next 6 months.
Be able to come up with — again, regardless of the current situation — a plausible optimistic economic scenario in the next year.
Be able to learn about an issue and form an opinion on it within 5 minutes.
Feel comfortable changing one’s mind at any moment, without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious.
Eat exotic animal innards without a moment of hesitation.
Withstand really spicy food.
Be able to skip dessert while everyone is clearly enjoying themselves around you.
Be able to go for at least two weeks, with just 5 hours of sleep each night.
Enjoy sitting through religious services, even when they’re not of your own faith.
Know a few obscure facts about every state/major city in America, so that you have something to say when you meet people from said places.
Know a little bit about Austrian and Keynesian business cycle theory. Just a little.
Be able to cook steak & eggs and get the timing roughly right.

Fashism was on the early show this morning, and you can watch...

Tue, 20 Jul 2010 09:34:40 -0400

Fashism was on the early show this morning, and you can watch the video here.

But what I liked best was “The Rock Shot” seen above.

MY STALKER

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 20:44:30 -0400

MY STALKER

The Problem With Cosmotarians

Sun, 11 Jul 2010 22:15:13 -0400

My friend Greg Newburn, one of the funniest people I know, has a really good post on his blog regarding “cosmotarians,” or libertarians who make a big point of being “citizens of the world” detached from base, low-class inclinations like “patriotism,” “country,” or whatnot.

The inciting incident actually took place a couple of weeks ago, after the US lost to Ghana in the world cup, and the somewhat well-known libertarian Gary Leff Tweeted: “Just don’t get tribalism. Why should I get excited about #usa goals?”

The message: You idiots with your patriotic tendencies… it’s so irrational of you to care about what Team USA does.

Here’s Newburn

I simply don’t believe Leff doesn’t “get” why Americans would cheer for the U.S., Ghanaians for Ghana, etc. I’m sure Leff wishes he embodied the mechanical rationality that would completely eschew even the most benign loyalty to one’s country. But he doesn’t, because no one does. Not even Will Wilkinson, and he hates America. There’s a reason our Spanish brothers are gathered in huge squares to watch today’s final, and there’s a reason they’re not rooting for the Netherlands. I can’t explain the visceral loyalty to one’s country, but to pretend you don’t understand that such loyalty exists, or that it’s completely mind-boggling in every context, is simply ridiculous.

This is the key point, and it represents a real failing on the part of most libertarians. In their attempt to embody “homo economicus” or “rational man” to the ultimate degree, they’ll absurdly deny obvious things like: We care more about our countrymates than we do others… we care more about our neighbors than we do people in the neighboring town, etc.

Sure, there’s an elemant of “irrationality” to care about what Landon Danovan is doing thousands of miles away. Technically it doesn’t effect me. But somehow it does, and to deny that, or to try to “logic it away” is silly, and ultimately undermining.

Whoa, when’d they get rid of Tumblarity?

Tue, 06 Jul 2010 14:01:30 -0400

Whoa, when’d they get rid of Tumblarity?

So what’s up.

Tue, 06 Jul 2010 14:00:34 -0400

So what’s up.

Me and my two best friends (for the most part) [Picture taken in...

Mon, 21 Jun 2010 22:03:18 -0400

Me and my two best friends (for the most part) [Picture taken in Austin, TX at the wedding of David and Elizabeth] .

St Vincent's Closes Hospital In Manhattan

Thu, 08 Apr 2010 12:00:30 -0400

St Vincent's Closes Hospital In Manhattan:

jayparkinsonmd:

In 2006, the system was losing approximately $10 million per month. I don’t know how much bloat they have cut since but I would doubt it would do much to combat their ever expanding finance costs on what the NYT reports is now $700 million in debt. Because of inefficiencies in the design of the hospital both from a layout and operational perspective, about 40% of people who entered their emergency room waiting room left untreated. An enormous share of their revenue came from turning emergency room walk-ins into in-patients. Not only were they seeing a large share of those potential patients walk away but their bed count (total potential in-patients) dropped by almost half in the last couple of decades because they didn’t have the money to support the beds. It was a vicious cycle. Also, because it was a Catholic institution, they could not provide family planning treatments. One of the fastest growing revenue generators at hospitals across the country is in vitro fertilization. The area that surrounds that hospital is just about the perfect demographic for IVF but because of their charter, those rich, older families were sent across town. (I doubt abortions are a big money maker but those were off limits also.)

This is the problem with almost all of our healthcare infrastructure in America. Hospitals were designed not around efficiency, but around having a space to treat tuberculosis, diarrhea from dirty water, and a business model that hasn’t progressed out of the fee-for-service structure of the 19th Century.

Our country now has drastically different healthcare needs— 75% of our healthcare costs are from chronic, behavioral-based diseases but our infrastructure is built for acute issues with a glut of hospital beds and white coats that treat behavioral based disease with pills and scalpels.

I did my residency at St. Vincents. It’s now almost closed. And I’m happy.

I truly believe that something better will be created that will eventually meet our vastly different needs. Sometimes society needs to purge. Sometimes we need to move on with total faith that our generation can produce something better, something more meaningful to our current population, and something we, as progressive, modern, ridiculously intelligent Americans can be proud of.

And I’m late to my meeting with the group Bloomberg hired to figure out a way to run NYC healthcare as efficiently as he runs his own company. The future is bright…

Nice! RussiaToday has me identified as Executive Editor. I knew...

Wed, 31 Mar 2010 21:12:00 -0400

Nice! RussiaToday has me identified as Executive Editor.

I knew knifing Carney in the back would result in a title upgrade.

If you actually care to watch my 100% regurgitated nonsense about banking regulation, the video is here.

TWESTIVAL NYC 2010

Fri, 26 Mar 2010 20:16:20 -0400

TWESTIVAL NYC 2010

Someone should remix a Ghostbusters trailer

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 09:50:59 -0500

dogsareadorable:

so it looks like a Michael Moore-esque documentary about the monopoly of privatizing the supernatural sector, and the environmental protection agency that is trying to stop it.

johncarney: Everyone is invited to tonight’s Massachusetts...

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 14:18:53 -0500

johncarney:

Everyone is invited to tonight’s Massachusetts special election drinks at Prof. Thoms. Come on by.

Martha Coakley victory party! Come by and meet your the Clusterstockers.

fashism: With the Ukrainian presidential elections beginning...

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 11:13:22 -0500

fashism:

With the Ukrainian presidential elections beginning tomorrow, we at Fashism would like to take a moment and endorse Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko.

Yes, we know very little about Ukrainian politics and are endorsing this candidate on purely on her style, but she is a popular Prime Minister, so we have to think she do a fantastic job.

And that hair! If she can pull that braid off every day, there’s nothing this woman can’t do.

I concur with the above. And would add that a vote for Yanukovich is a vote for Russian expanionism, though I also acknowledge that Yanukovich will probably win.

“Little Jimmmy Brown” This song is sick good.

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 10:28:50 -0500

“Little Jimmmy Brown”

This song is sick good.

peterfeld: It’s a happy life for Roger Ailes. Dude is one of...

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 11:27:42 -0500

peterfeld:

It’s a happy life for Roger Ailes.

Dude is one of my effin’ heroes.

Back on an Andew Bird kick. This is a great blogotheque version...

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 17:38:27 -0500

Back on an Andew Bird kick. This is a great blogotheque version of “Spare-Ohs.”

Sup.

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 18:59:20 -0500

Hey Y'all I'm In Texas

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 20:13:35 -0500

Ping me if you want to get coffee at The Spiderhouse.

ninety9: What do you call it when you write a blog post around a preconceived ideology? Tyler...

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 18:29:27 -0500

ninety9:

What do you call it when you write a blog post around a preconceived ideology? Tyler Cowen.

I don’t really Tumbl anymore, but I thought I’d come back to say that you’re a repetitive bore.

But really, glad that nothing’s changed.

brookieoftheyear: I came across this Post Secret video today,...

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 23:07:46 -0500

brookieoftheyear:

I came across this Post Secret video today, which consists of people confessing their inner most secrets, video diary style. Unlike the site where the confessions are completely anonymous, those in this video are spilling their guts right in front of the camera. So imagine my surprise when I discovered that one of these people was my husband. Yes, I watched this entire video with my stomach in a knot, waiting to see what he would confess, but alas, he merely says “Um, awkward?” That’s it. No confession. No secret. Oh well, truthfully, I’m sort of relieved.

This is funny, because when I went in front of the PostSecret camera they kept talking about how I could tell them any secret, and that nobody would know. And like 5 people I know randomly saw this.

They didn’t end up using my secret, which was something to the extent of my having more right-wing/fascist beliefs than I let on. But, TBH, I’m not even sure I believe that shit anymore.